Be kind

I woke up this morning.
I woke up this morning.
I woke up this morning....with depression.

Days like today I can hear my grandmother's voice, "don't be a debbie downer, you woke up this morning." I feel a sense of resentment when I hear that statement now. Not because I have an ill-will against my late grandma. I don't, she was a great lady and a great lady to me. I think I feel a sense of resentment because I know she's right...but that doesn't make it any easier.

My ongoing struggle with my depression isn't something I am shy about sharing. I feel like if more people had an outlet of they could share, and not be judged mental illness would be so much less of a stigma. Every morning I wake up in fear, fear that I am not sure what a normal happy day is going to look like. I am not sad 24/7, I live in a state of no excitement. No real drive to look forward to the future.  -That's a really sad place to be in because my life is amazing, and I should look forward to these happy events-

So I start back to where I began.

I woke up this morning with depression. I told myself, that's okay. I am who I am, I am loved, and I am going to be kind to myself today. I will try not to be judgemental if I take a nap. I will try not to be judgemental if I don't get everything done on my to do list done today. I will try to let myself feel that I am worth it to be kind to myself today.

This is what I need.
To be kind.