Life Update: It's been awhile. A really long time actually. How is my depression doing? How am I doing? What is going on in my life? Let me tell you, it's been a road. It will continue to be a long road, of twists and turns that I will continue to navigate no matter the problems that come my way. Mid-year, my therapist and I decided it was time to do one of two things. 1) Inpatient treatment 2) Intensive outpatient treatment We discussed, we mauled over, I cried, I yelled, I got frustrated, and I pulled away. Then something happened.... I agreed. I agreed to treatment. Inpatient treatment was too hard to find the right facility. So we decided on a intensive outpatient program. 1. EMDR 2. Weight Loss Coach to address my binge eating disorder 3. Continue counseling once a week 4. Start school I have been doing all of this except the weight loss coaching since October. (started weight loss coaching in January this year) I am so proud of myself. I am ...
I woke up this morning. I woke up this morning. I woke up this morning....with depression. Days like today I can hear my grandmother's voice, "don't be a debbie downer, you woke up this morning." I feel a sense of resentment when I hear that statement now. Not because I have an ill-will against my late grandma. I don't, she was a great lady and a great lady to me. I think I feel a sense of resentment because I know she's right...but that doesn't make it any easier. My ongoing struggle with my depression isn't something I am shy about sharing. I feel like if more people had an outlet of they could share, and not be judged mental illness would be so much less of a stigma. Every morning I wake up in fear, fear that I am not sure what a normal happy day is going to look like. I am not sad 24/7, I live in a state of no excitement. No real drive to look forward to the future. -That's a really sad place to be in because my life is amazing, and I sh...